Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
- GuestGuest
Re: Coming Home [Episode - Solo]
Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:28 am
- GuestGuest
Re: Coming Home [Episode - Solo]
Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:59 am
- Gray
[tracker=/t131-tracker-gray-starks#504]
Name : Gray
Epithet : "The Conqueror"; "Black Fist"
Age : 49
Height : 10'2" (310 cm)
Weight : 1043 lbs (473 kg)
Species/Tribe : Cyborg Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Lurking Legend (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Sangria's Vane (Destroyed)
Crew Role : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Bounty : [ber=r] 5,000,000,000
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Income Bonus : +0.20
Shop Discount : -30%
Balance : [bel] 25,000,000,000
[[strollingdeath]][[baneoftheweak]][[riseandshine]][[childofdestiny]][[freakofnature]]
[[punchoutguru]][[dulcetvirtuoso]]
[[improviseadaptovercome]]
Posts : 3983
Re: Coming Home [Episode - Solo]
Wed Dec 27, 2017 11:12 am
GRADING
COMMENTS
I really liked the dynamic between Captain Kuro and Ryuji (even though his insubordination is dangerouns, and could be severely punishable if someone outside the crew was to find out). It's a shame Ryuji had to escape, but it does mean that the difficulty bonus will be reset to 0. No matter though, it was a wise choice!One thing I noticed you missed in your posts was the TTs (Technique Tags). If you don't know what those are, Ctrl+F them in the combat guide. Those are important because, without them, a reader might sometimes be confused as to when exactly a technique is executed.
One other advice I have for you is to not make your posts too expository. While exposition is necessary, too much of it can detach the reader from your character. Nonetheless, you did well to build up your plot and connect your hometown's history to it. And you left a sufficiently interesting plot point for a future quest too. For that reason, I shall be giving you a B! Be sure to use this as encouragement for further quests and continue to improve your writing.
REWARDS
Ryuji Kazama
Difficulty Bonus: +0% (+1 but escaped)
Quality Bonus: +25% (B)
EXP: 63 [50 + (25%*50)]
Berries: 4,050,000 [75k*40 + 25%(75k*40) + 10%(75k*40)] (The last multiplier is from your income as Rear Admiral)
New Balance: 9,100,000 [5,050,000 + 4,050,000]
Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum