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[World Event] A Fool's ErrandThu Jul 25, 2024 8:35 pmVolo Rosso[Arc] [Rubeck Island Conquest][Part 2] Last Tango in Rubeck Sun Jul 21, 2024 6:57 amMaxwell[Episode] Corruption of BloodSun Jul 14, 2024 3:51 amYumiko[Episode] Mink-staken IdentityThu Jul 04, 2024 6:28 amYumiko[Board] Quest Requests and Quest GradingsSat Jun 29, 2024 9:00 pmGray[Episode] Now, where am I?Sat Jun 29, 2024 8:56 pmGray[Episode] Waking MonstersSat Jun 29, 2024 12:00 pmGray[Abandoned] [Arc] [Tequila Wolf Conquest] The Rotten Lie of Tequila WolfTue Jun 25, 2024 3:23 pmGray[Market] [Shop] The Shop of DreamsSun Jun 23, 2024 5:11 pmGray
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Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 05, 2020 12:39 pm
Lightning cracked across the blackened sky, Emilia's metal hull rattling from the accompanying thunder as the hulking vessel sliced through the storm. Skillfully weaving and bobbing with a surprising bit of agility for such a craft. Her hull was comparable to a Caravel class ship, an abomination of wood and metal fused together and attached to a giant balloon with billowing smokes stacks.

"Wahoooo hahahahaha!" The laughter could be heard in the short moments of respite from the storm amongst the humming engines. "This is great!" A handsome young man shouted as he hung off the side of the airship, his goal hair whipping in the wind and the cold rain slamming into his skin as he peered off into the flashing black abyss. "So this is the sky, huh?" Volo gritted his teeth and hardened his resolve before releasing his grip from Emilia and plummeted thousands of feet towards the ocean depths. So this what it's like, eh? The wind in my face, the thrill of danger...tch... so this is freedom. His thoughts raced as he continued to free fall, his red scarf seemed to dance in the air behind him while doing so. Until suddenly, his bright green eyes sharpened, accompanied by an arrogant grin.

A smoke trail raced across the sky as Volo's excited laughter cut through the air once more as the smoke twisted and turned about in the sky, taking the time to spell his own name before returning to Emilia's deck, "Hehe.. mannn, I could get used to this!" Shaking off like a dog before strapping his goggles back onto his forehead, " I really should put some more stuff out here.." He mused, commenting on the lack of accessories to the otherwise unique vessel.

The Next Morning

"Yaaaaaaawwwwww ahhhhhhhhhhhh." Volo rubbed his eyes as he awoke in a puddle of his own drool on the deck of the ship. Pulling a white carton from his pocket he knocked out a cigarette and flicked it into his mouth. "What a night.." He groaned as he patted his jacket pockets, "Where...." Now patting down his pants as well with no success. "Shit man.." He mumbled again as he lugged his large frame up from the ground and began to search around the deck, "How do I always manage fo lose this damn thing, *sigh*, shame I couldn't have eaten a fire fruit.." His moaning continued as he made his way to the kitchen. "This'll do.."click click click The burner sounded before a blue flame lit up and Volo leaned down with the cigarette in his mouth, puffing a few times to get it lit.

Volo took a deep drag before exhaling, releasing enough smoke to cloud the immediate area, "Ahhh much better.." He wandered back towards the main hall, turning towards the cockpit. Once inside, Volo leaned onto a large table bearing a map of the South Blue. Though not a seasoned navigator himself, he studied more than enough books on flight and navigation to apply the basic principles and concepts when devising and building Emilia's design. "Shouldn't be to long before I hit Black Drum. Stock up on supplies and head north from there....hmmm.." His words trailed off into thoughts as he began to glance around the room. Noticing a small sliver of silver peeking out from under his chair. "Is that..?" Volo mumbled to himself as he got on all fours in an attempt to investigate the item, desperately trying to fit his large hand into the small crevice.

Boom! Cannon fire echoed out from below as Emilia was struck, causing the airship to tilt and further trapping the lighter under the chair. Shock, anger, and a feeling of betrayal all washed over Volo's face at once, causing him to drop his cigarette onto the ground, knocking the ember off. Cannon fire echoed out again, however this time the shells missed Emilia and flew back down to earth. "Tch.." Volo grit his teeth in anger and shot to his feet, his fists clenched and gaze directed at the floor as his body shook with frustration. Volo sprinted out into the deck and peered over the side, "Hey! The hell's your problem?!" In a flash, his form was ethereal, smoke that fired off the deck at high speeds, directed at a small marine vessel below. Seamen on the deck were armed with swords and rifles, bracing themselves as they saw the smoke stream plummeting towards them.

"S-sir! S-somethings coming this way!" A marine shouted, noticing the smoke racing towards them. "What is it?! Speak?!" Another shouted back in response.

Volo crashed into the ship at high speed, accidentally setting off the dynamite on his bomber jacket, comprising the hull of the vessel and splintering the ships keel. "Shewww, I picked up waaaayyy to much speed ther-....Oh shit, uhhh.." Volo stammered as he solidified on what remained of the deck to address the marines, verifying that none were killed in the process. "So first, my bad, definitely didn't mean to wreck your whole ship like that.... but uhh, you guys shot at me first and that was a dick move....sooo...Yeah... let's call it even, okay?!" He mumbled nervously before launching himself back towards Emilia, causing a smokescreen to erupt as he took off. Blinding the marines, allowing them to just barely catch a flash of his trademark red scarf.

The coughing of marines filled the air as they fanned the smoke away with their arms. "W-hat was that...?" A grunt could be heard mumbling.

"Don't just sit there!" The ranking officer shouted out, "Get to the lifeboats! Now! And someone get me a den den mushi, we need to report this to Captain Lopaw immediately..."

Once back on the ship though, Volo set his focus onto his true nemesis, the largest thorn in his side, losing lighters. Unaware of the dangers that lie ahead.



Last edited by Volo Rosso on Mon Sep 14, 2020 12:43 pm; edited 5 times in total
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sun Sep 06, 2020 4:24 pm
Peeking over the horizon was Black Drum island, Volo's face lit up when he realized how close he was to his first real adventure. "Tch..heheh.." He chuckled to himself quietly before booming out into laughter. "Wahoo ahahahahaha!" Jumping down from Emilia's frame, he landed in the deck and moved towards the cockpit. Taking a seat, he pulled several levers before pushes several more buttons. Creating a chain reaction resulting in a slow descent towards the ocean. "Sorry girl, I don't like the water either but we cant draw to much attention right now."

The vessel creaked as it made contact with the water, slowing to a sailing pace as the balloon hissed out then last of its air. Leaving a hulking metal skeleton above the ship. Using the same propellers that allow it to soar through the sky, Emilia is able to cruise along the sea in calm coastal waters like port towns such as this one.

Treble, a small port town on the eastern shore of the island, cut off from the the rest of the island by the Xylophone Alps. A hulking mountain range stretching the entire length of the Eastern side of the island. Known around the country for their especially pungent cheeses and a local species of fish called cattermouths. But this quaint little port town is not all it seems to be.

"Welcome to Treble, sir!" A young dock boy shouted up, "Wow! This is a mighty strange ship ya got here!" He continued as he tied off the ropes to the dock one by one, "Golly, I reckon I've never seen nothin like this before, mister." He rushed over once he finished, meeting Volo at the dock as he stepped off the airship.

"Here kid." Volo smiled and tossed a gold coin his way, " Try not to spend it all in one place."

"Gee! Thanks mister!" The boy yelled out as he waved goodbye. "Wowee, I can't wait to show the boss!" With a smile he stuffed the coin into his pocket and took off down the docks.

"Now let's see..." Volo mumbled as he patted his pockets, "Wha... are you serious..?*sigh* Not again.." A tear came to his eye as he pulled the unlit cigarette from his mouth and tucked it back into the carton. "I guess first things first, guess I gotta buy a new lighter..." Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Volo wandered into the heart of town. Coming upon a massive bazaar, hundreds of people crammed shoulder to shoulder in what seemed like a back alley. Vendors and anglers shouting back and forth as customers desperately try for the best price while avoiding the many pickpockets at every turn. As he glanced around, something strange grabbed his eye. "Huh... all this thieving going on and these navy men just carry about their business.." Volo mumbled, having noticed patrols of navy men on just about every corner, each one overlooking obvious crimes.

"What do you mean you can't pay?!" A loud voice boomed from an offshoot alleyway. Peaking down, Volo noticed two naval guards and shifty fellow tucked into the back corner. " You know the rules. Captain Lopaw lets you operate freely as long as you pay the operators tax." The larger man shouted again, this time emphasizing his words with a strong whack to the head with the stock of his rifle.

"I-I'm s-orry....*thud*..*thud*..." The shifty fellows words cut off but two more sudden whacks from the guy, sending him down to the ground.

"You should be sorry you grovelling piece if trash!" The other marine said, delivering a swift kick to the thief's ribs. Then another and another, forcing the pummeled man to spit up blood.

"Alright!" Volo shouted, as he billowed into the room at high speeds, taking out both men by closing lining them into the wall. "Why don't you fucks pick on someone your own size, oh wait you can't....huh?" Hie smart rhetoric cut off when he noticed a black lighter on the ground. "Ayyyeee, looks like my good karma is already paying off!" Picking it up, he gave it a test flick before pulling out another cigarette and giving it a go, taking a pleasurably deep inhale. "Thaaaaaats the stufff." He said with a long exhale, filling up the immediate area with a hazy cloud of smoke.

"T-thank y-you.." The meek young man said as he pulled himself up off the ground.

"Yeah, don't mention it, I didn't do it for you or anything." Volo grumbled as he started to walk away.

"W....W-wait!!" The thief shouted, "I-I want to thank you properly for saving me, I-I have a home n-near here..."

"Look, I'm gonna stop ya there, I was serious when I said don't mention it, I ain't got no interest in meeting your wife and kids." Volo responded rudely.

"Oh, well, I guess I wont throw you a feast then..."

"A feast you say?!" Volo replied, his tune quickly changing, "Why I would love to come back to your home with you!"




Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 07, 2020 8:59 pm
"H-honey! I'm home!" The thief shouted, opening the door to a makeshift shack. "Woah!" He grunted as two children took him down to the dirt floor. "Ah children! It's so good to see you!"

"What happened to your face daddy?" The elder asked, "Yeah daddy, what happened to your face?"

"Ohohoho, daddy just slipped and fell, then this nice man here helped me up and brought me home." He said with a smile, pointing to Volo's large frame standing outside.

"Oh god!" His wife shouted as she walked into the room, "Are you okay my love, let me get you some ice!"

"Now, now, Priscilla, everything is fine thanks to this fine young man here, though I must say, in all the confusion I did not get your name."

"Airheart." Volo said, pointing to the name patch sewn onto the chest of his jacket, "Volo Rosso Airheart."

"Volo, what an interesting name." He said, rising to his feet, "My name is Poncho and these are my children somo and bero, and my lovely wife Priscilla."

"Nice to meet ya, but uhhh, you mentioned something about a feast...? Or did I mishear you... cause uhhh, I got places to be." Volo groaned as he picked at his ear with his pinky finger.

"Yes, yes, that is right. Priscilla, please, would you use that for dinner .." Her eyebrows raised, surprised by what her husband had said, "are... are you sure..?" She hesitated to even ask, "Yes, it is a special occasion. Now, please, Volo, come sit and relax while we prepare the meal. Come children, let's leave our guest alone for now." Poncho commanded as the family exited the small living room and headed for the kitchen outside.

"Man, and I though karate island was shitty.." Volo mumbled.

"Karare island?!" A voice squeaked from behind him, the elder child Somo had managed to sneak back in, his eyes lit up like a tree in Christmas as the mention of Karate. "That's so cool!! Can you teach me karate?! Huh?! Can ya?! That way I can beat up all the bullies like wham. Bam. Hah! Kapow!!!" Acting out the words with associated kicks and punches.

"Look kid, not everyone from Karate Island knows karate, okay?!" Volo barked, the boys words clearly having struck a nerve with the pi(lot)rate. Prompting the child to run back outside with tears in his eyes, "ahh shit.." Sighing as he tussled his real hair out of frustration. "Hey, kid, look I'm-..." Trailing off on his sentence as he approached the door, hearing the voices of Poncho and Priscilla.

"I know, I know, but if this works and he can do it, we wont have to worry about saving food. If we feed him now, maybe we can convince him to help. You weren't their Priscilla... this boy... he isnt human... he might actually be able to save us..." Poncho could be heard pleading with Priscilla, "I just hope for our sakes you're right about this.... because if he isnt willing to help.... well... I guess it won't matter either way once Captain Lopaw finds out..."

Volo slinked back into the other room unnoticed, "God damnit.." he mumbled, his head hung low as he plopped a cigarette between his lips. Pulling out his lighter, he flicked it several times to no avail. "Heh... of course.." He mumbled, "The one time I don't lose it, it doesn't work.... go figure..." Tears flowed down his face, dripping directly onto the false starting flint, preventing it from catching. "Guess I ain't got any other choice but to help.."

About an hour and a half later

"Dinners ready! Come and get it!" Priscilla shouted, calling in Volo and the toy boys who had begun a game of catch outside in the alley. Once inside, a large table plated with several dishes sat out where there was once the family sleeping arrangement. The delicious smell wafted over, drawing Volo to his seat almost immediately.

"I hope you like curry! Because my wife Priscilla makes it like no other!" Poncho shouted proudly as he picked up the spoon, checking Volo to gauge his response. Though the young man had already began stuffing his face, tossing the food back like an animal. "I'll take that as a yes, pehahahahahahaha!" Poncho's laughter carried on into the night as Volo became part of this quaint little family for a time.

After the food was gone and they had settled down and sent the children to bed, Priscilla brought out cups of coffee for the trio that remained at the table. Volo, who was seated across from the couple, who now nervously started at their cups sharpened his gaze at them, taking a slurping sip before speaking. " Who is Lopaw...?"

The married couple froze, faces white as if they had seen a ghost before nervously beginning to speak in a hushed tone. "He.... he is a marine captain here in town... but..." Poncho's words trailed off as he stood up and closed the windows, peering around first for any suspicious persons. Sweat ran down his cheeks as he returned to the table and nervously tapped before speaking in an even more hushed tone. "It all goes back to three hundred years ago.... when an deposed king from the Grandline claimed this land as his own.. for generations his family ruled with corruption and wickedness. Until one hundred years ago, they were overthrown, with most of the royal family having been killed or scattered to the winds..." Poncho trailed off once again, his gaze now directed at the floor and his pant clean clenched in his fists. "Captain Lopaw is descended from the vile bloodline, using his status as a marine he was transferred to this isolated part of Black Drum Island where he abused his marine powers in order to rule the common people just like his disgusting ancestors!"

"Honey!" Priscilla shouted, grabbing her husband's hand, "Please, you cannot get so loud..." Looking over her shoulder before speaking. All the while Volo sat with his arms crossed, looking on at the couple as they told the desperate story of Black Drum.

"Please, Volo... if you don't believe us, just ask the few that are left. Either you live as scum stealing for Lopaw or you get whisked away in the dead of night. There is no happiness here in Treble...." But the young man needn't ask a soul, remembering the sights of the back alleys well, the sick and the poor stuffed away like rats as the upper class battered in the markets. He saw the shack that Poncho and in his family sheltered in desperately and tried their damndest to make a home of. By now, even without their pleas, Volo had long resolved himself to helping out.


Last edited by Volo Rosso on Tue Sep 15, 2020 6:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Tue Sep 15, 2020 5:00 pm
To the west, the Xylophone Alps, gorgeous snow capped peaks dotted with patches of evergreen stretching as far as the eye can see. While from the east, the salty sea breeze whipped in from the rocky shoreline as the sound of gulls filled the air. A strange place Trebel was, isolated from the mainland on the northeastern shore, very rarely coming into contact with the rest of the mainland outside of visiting traders. The perfect place for one to control the perception of those on the outside, manipulating the news and controlling propaganda to sway public opinion.

"D-down there.." Poncho whispered as he peered over the cliff and pointed out the naval base jetting out from the mountai side. Originally built to mimic a giant sniper's post to protect the towns people from pirates, "The Birds Nest" is a magnificent piece of engineering with almost three hundred and sixty degree range of visibility below, designed to use the mountain and it's own weight as a brace as it hangs out over the town. One the Southern Naval branch is quite proud of due to its importance in protecting the northeastern coast, though, since Captain Lopaw took control, it has served as little more than a hideout for a corrupt thug abusing his power over the people.

Volo's eyes studied the building, using his goggles to zoom in further than he could normally see, admiring the the ability of the person who designed such a monumental structure. Accessible only by a lift at the base of the mountain, followed by a long walk across the bridge built into the brace, all before coming up the main entrance which is guarded by dozens of guards. No normal human being could hope to impregnate such a fortress, but, Volo was no normal human. A rambunctious smile erupted on his face as removed a white carton from his jacket pocket, flicking a cigarette into his mouth. "Now where..." His hands anxiously patting his other pockets as he examined the ground around him.

flwwiishhh The sound accompanied by a lit match in his face as Poncho placed the flame on the paper. Shooting a smile back towards Volo, "A-allow me.." Clearly seeing the man struggle to indulge his habit.

"Hehehe thanks!" Volo chuckled as he took a deep drag, the ember eating away at the paper, leaving behind a stick of ash. "Alright!" He said with a shout, jumping to his feet and doing a few stretches before giving Poncho a wave and diving off the side of the cliff.

"WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH *enel face*" Poncho yelled as he scrambled to peer over the side, worried his anointed savior just committed suicide in front of him. Though as he did, a smoke plume raced by, knocking him back into the rocks as he watched it ascend into the skies.

"Wahoooooo hahahahahhahaha!" Volo's laughter echoed through the air as the smoke trail danced about before darting off towards the Naval base.

"Wha...what are you, Volo..?" Poncho stammered in disbelief before breathing a sigh of relief that the boy was not dead.

Landing gently on the roof, Volo ran his hands along the metal for any imperfections in the fortresses outer shell before finding a weathered crack. Using his logia powers, smoke forced it's way in and slithered it's way in as Volo reformed in a dimly lit hallway, the smell was musty and rank. "Ughh..." Reacting to every new smell as he wandered the labyrinth of hallways, some lit better than others, while some were completely black. As he wandered, a faint groaning could be heard, like that of a dying animal pleading for its life to be ended. The smells growing stronger with the sound as Volo followed it cautiously to the source, until happening upon a large metal door decorated in locks.

"The hell..?" He mumbled, pressing his ear up to the cold black metal before glancing at the locks once more. "Tch, kids stuff.." Volo smirked as his hand dissipated into smoke and rose into the locks, followed by several clicks and clacks, resulting in the locks falling off one by one. "Now then. Let's see what we go-........" Opening the door with excitement that was quickly replaced once the rooms contents were revealed. Sweat dripped from Volo's brow as the groaning grew louder, his fists were balled and knuckles white as he visibly shook with anger.

The stench of blood emitted from the room as dozens of men and women hung naked from hooks like cattle, several clinging to life as they were left to slowly bleed out from almost surgical like lacerations. "Who did this?" Volo demanded, his demeanor now like the calm before the storm. Though, the victims were to far gone to respond now, capable of only groaning in anguish until their last breath. "WHO FUCKING DID THIS?!??"

"Mahahahahaha..my, my, what do we have hear? What poor soul has wandered into the territory of a predator such as myself..hmmmm?" A sinister voice echoed from behind, as Volo snapped around he observed an extremely tall man with neatly groomed purple hair and an almost cylindrical shaped jaw. The mans once elegant suit was wet with fresh blood as he rubbed a towel between his hands.

Volo's gaze narrowed and his pupils sharpened, "I'm only going to ask you this once.... Did you do this?"

"Do you know who I am boy? I am Captain Lopaw with the South Blue Naval branch, descended from a long line of great kings, kings wrongly removed from our post, you see."

"Answer my question.." Volo barked out.

"Heh.... Three hundred years ago, my great ancestor dined on the flesh of humans and it granted him great power, and now, it has done the same for me you kaba!!" "Yes it was me you stupid fuck!"

"That's all I needed to hear." Flicking a cigarette into his mouth he moved the lighter to the paper, nursing the ember with a few puffs before snapping the lighter closed and taking a deep inhale, exhaling a giant cloud out of his nostrils, filling the immediate area.
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:28 pm
Volo uses MT(Billowing Blitzkrieg ) on Lopaw
Volo uses LT(Bulldog Bomber ) on Lopaw
Volo uses LT(Rude Ram Bomber ) on Lopaw
Volo uses UT on Lopaw

Lopaw uses MT
Lopaw Uses LT
Lopaw uses LT
Lopaw uses UT
NPC
NPC
NPC
Tracker

Name : Variable
Epithet : Variable
Age : 0
Height : Variable
Weight : Variable
Species : Variable
Faction : Variable
Crew : Variable
Ship : Variable
Crew Role : Variable
Devil Fruit : Variable
Bounty : Variable
Balance : Variable
Posts : 1286

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:28 pm
The member 'Volo Rosso' has done the following action : Dice Roll


#1 'Reflex Check' : 14, 11, 5, 6

--------------------------------

#2 'Reflex Check' : 11, 6, 1, 17
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 21, 2020 1:13 pm
Spoiler:

The thick gray haze filled the immediate area, flooding the hallway with the harsh substance as Lopaw's eyes began to water and his throat scratched with every breath. What the hell did this kid do..?! How is there this much smoke from that one little cigarette?!... he must be a fruit use-?! The butchers thoughts raced through his mind before Volo's fist appeared from nowhere, striking the marine in the jaw before sending him crashing into the nearby wall. Clang! the metal ring out, "How the hell..?" Wipping the blood from his lip, the marine captain struggled to grasp the situation at hand. "But he never moved..?" Eyes studying the young mans shadowed silhouette up and down as he calmly stood in the haze of the smoke, positioned where he had always been, the smoke around him undisturbed.

"Something wrong?" Volo whispered into Lopaw's ear, having instantly moved from one location to another without moving a muscle. He could smell the salt in the marine captains sweat as it raced downwards, "Fear.." Volo's breath cooling the liquid on Lopaw's skin, raising the hair on the back of his neck. "That's what you're feeling right now."

Lopaw shot away from Volo, darting across the room desperately, his eyes widening as he turned back around. Realizing Volo had disappeared once more. Calm down.. His heart raced as he coughed from the smoke, his watery eyes scanning the room as best they could for any sign of the pi(lot)rate. You know he has a fruit, now you just need to figure out which one..?!. Once again, Volo's fist emerged from the smoke, connecting with the captains jaw once more, followed by the same result. "Stop hiding and fight like a man, you shitty pirate!" He shouted out in anger, chopping at the direction the fist had come from.

"You're right.." Volo responded, "Ain't really my style to hide like this.... but after seeing what you did to those people.... Yeah... I can tell a little man like you scares pretty easy..." The smoke rippled and swirled as Lopaw flailed his crude blade around in a desperate attempt to cut something he could not see. "And I'm gonna scare the fucking shit outta you!" He shouted, solidifying right in front of the well dressed butcher, connecting an explosive jab right to the marines gut (Rude Ram Bomber). The impact sending him into a corkscrew as he crashed through several walls, ending up in the mess hall quite a ways away from the smoke cloud that was Volo.

"Arggghh! Fuck!" His screams echoing off the metal walls as he thudded to the floor, coughing up blood as he did so. "S-shit!" Stuttering as he scrambled to his feet and took off running, gripping his oversized butcher knife with all his might. "I'll show him... no one does this to me...The Great Lopaw!"

"Tch.." Volo clicked his teeth as he solidified scratching at his head, tussling the teal colored mop. "Now where the hells he running off too? Ah well, ain't like hes gonna get very far!" Snickering as his legs turned into a billowing plume that propelled him through the air, "Leaving so soon?!" Volo shouted as he closed in on the marine captain from behind.

"WAAHHHHHHHH *enel face*?!?! YOU CAN FLY TOO?!" Lopaw shouted dramatically as he tried to drastically increase his speed to outpace the gaining pi(lot)rate. Turning a corner, Lopaw turned and positioned himself at the ready, gripping the butcher blades handle as he baseball swung at the first sight of Volo's teal colored head. "Gotcha!! Mahahahaha!"

Volo sped around the corner as the blade made contact with his head, easily cleaving his entire body in two as smoke spewed everywhere. The grin on Lopaw's face quickly turning to shock as he finally realized the type of power he was dealing with.

"L-L-L-LOGIA?!?!?! *super enel face*"
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 21, 2020 2:18 pm
Volo reformed behind Lopaw, using his lower body to propel himself forward as he rammed the marine captain into the wall. Once more he would grab the mans suit and fling him through the air, this time striking him with an explosive uppercut before he touched the ground (Rude Ram Bomber.) Launching the marine like a ragdoll into the air and tearing a whole in the metal roof. Volo could feel the warm sunlight on his skin as he flew up and out, observing Lopaw's body sprawled out motionless on the deck.

"Arh...gggh...." lopaw groaned in agony as he leaked blood all over the hot metal.

Volo stuck a cigarette into his mouth as he stood over the marine in triumph, shielding the lighters flame from the wind as he nursed the ember before flicking it closed. His brow wrinkled as he glared at the disgraced captain, lifting him up by his lapel as he hung the man over the side and overlooked the town below. Pulling a Den Den mushi from his pocket, Volo tapped into the P.A. system. "tap tap -screeeee- HELLO!!!! -tzzzt tchhhhh psshhhhh zzz-" The mic screeched loudly as the unfortunate citizens desperately covered their ears. "*mic clicking over to normal audio* Ah hear we go... can you hear me? Is this better..? Do I have everyones attention? Okay cool, so, from what I can tell is this piece of shit right here. Captain...uhh, *whispers as he pulls mic away* hey what's your name again, hey, wake up I'm trying to do a speech here. Oh. Wait. You have a namd tag, let's see, Lo-paw...*mic keys up loudly again* So this Captain Lowpaw guy has been treating you guys like shit, well not anymore!" Volo shouted as he let the mans lapel go, dropping him down towards the town, sending the marines who had gathered below into a frenzy to catch their deposed captain. "And to top it all off, I'm gonna get rid of this stupid base so no one can lord over you guys ever again! Wahoo hahahahaa! *click*".

The townsfolk sat stupefied for a moment, still in shock from Captain Lopaw's sudden descent as they watched Volo's red scarf flicker as a billowing plume of smoke sent him rising into the air. They could hear his laughter echoing on the wind as they still tried to register his previous words as they interpreted his actions in real time. Only when Volo disappeared from sight and reappeared in his descent strapped with enough dynamite to blow a battleship did they realize what was happening. With a city wide, collective enel face, the citizens near the crash zone scrambled for safety, doing their best to avoid a gruesome death.

"WAHOOOOOOO AHAHHAHAHAHA!" Volo shouted at the top of his lungs as his lips flapped in the wind, aiming for the brace that held the entire engineering feat together. Erupting into a massive explosion on contact, comprising the integrity of the structure. The metal creaked and snapped under it's own weight as it quickly began to collapse and tumble to the city below.
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 21, 2020 3:12 pm
"Aghhh..pleaseee!! Someone save me!" Lopaw cried out as his body hurled towards the ground "puhweaaaseeee!" His tears flowed like rivers down until they were swept away by the wind, mixing with the crimson droplets that trailed behind him. As he fell, the marine captains life flashed before his eyes, remembering the life of poverty he was raised in. A family ever on the move, staying in a place just long enough for a friends honeyed words to turn vile all before moving again. As a child, he could never understand why they were always on the move and why such nice people would turn so violent towards them overnight.

Descended from the cursed bloodline of the tyrant King Wapol, Lopaw's mother and father were constantly on the run from prosecutors looking for revenge in bloodfueds that go back centuries. Legends, like all things, are dilated by time, stories of Wapol devouring objects to humans using the power of a devil fruit having been obscured by centuries of rumors and hate. With many believing that he was purely a canninal who used bloodmagic to gain powers from his victims. Something quite a few his descendants believed quite relentlessly, Lopaw and his parents included.

"I dont wanna die!!!" He cried out, his voice growing higher in pitch the closer he got to death. Debris from the collapsing structure above raining down around him.

As Lopaws body whipped in the wind, the marines below scrambled to provide a cushion for their captains landing all while dodging the falling debris, with one marine desperately pushing a cart of straw around, attempting to anticipate the landing site.

Suddenly, a cloud of smoke and a flicker of red race by, saving Lopaw at the last moment, "Hang on!" Volo shouted sarcastically as the marine had passed out prior to being rescued. The pi(lot)rate flew over towards a nearby church steeple and hung the captain by his underwear on the tip. Shots rung out through the air as reinforcements arrived, their rifles ringing off shots in a rapid fire fashion due to their overwhelming numbers. "Tch.." Taking off, Volo flew over and carpet bombed the area, scattering the marines like roaches and leveling the immediate area even before it was crushed by the falling metal and stone. Jetting into the air, he danced across the sky using his smoke to write a message before giving a thumbs up and flying off;

No worries,

You're Welcome,

Volo


The citizens below watched as the young man took off with a smile after his message was finished before their eyes inevitably drifted towards the once great marine structure known as the Birds Nest crashing into the town, destroying hundreds of homes and swallowing up what seemed to be half of Treble. What was once onsidered the Pride of the Southern Naval branch is now a hulking mass of metal permanently lodged into the earth.

Back at the mountainside, Volo regrouped with Poncho, who stood frozen in a confused state of shock.

"Hey!" Volo shouted as he slid his goggles back onto his forehead, "pretty sweet, right?! Took care of your whole problem, no sweat! Hehe!" He snickered proudly, rubbing a finger under his nose.

"Wh-...wh....what h-have you done....." Poncho stammered, tears in his eyes as the slums where so many called home had been completed decimated by the impact of the destroyed base.
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 21, 2020 4:18 pm
"Damage report sir." A marine stated as he entered his commander's room with a chart in hand.

"Proceed." Lopaw responded as a nurse applied bandages to his wounds.

"Damage to the outskirts of Treble, one hundred percent.."

"No matter, we can do without those slums anyway.." Lopaw interjected rudely.

"Damage to the inner city of Treble, thirty percent. Debris from the structure traveled farther than anticipated and the bombing of the rescue tea-... I mean reinforcements caused more damage than originally expected. Then there is the matter of the Birds Nest, a one of kind engineering marvel commissioned by the navy to an architect who died over one hundred years ago. But suprisingly, not a single casualty has been reported...." The marines words trailed off as he noticed then veins bulging on his captains forehead. "Uhhhhh...he..he.."

"And how goes the manhunt?" Lopaw changed the subject, focusing his anger on the boy known as Volo. Having sent every bodied marine and citizen to hunt for the sky pirate.

"N-no sign of the pirate yet a-and... and all we know so far is that his name is Volo and that his description matches that of the prior reported attacks over the past few days. A young man with teal hair strange powers and a red scarf. Though, one sailor insists he was attacked in the middle of the night by a humanoid owl. Unsure if that ones related or not at this time, sir...."

"So what you are telling me, is that this boy, who dare defy me, the great Captain Lopaw.... is still running around free and all we know is his first name and the color of his hair?!?"

"H-he wears.a red s-scarf too.." The marine responded meekly, drawing the glare of his captain. Sending him scurrying out of the room before his head ended up on the floor.

Crash Site

"Ahh c'mon, Poncho!" Volo pleaded, "Don't be like that, I took care of the guy just like ya asked!"

"No one asked you to destroy half the town!!" Poncho shouted back as he scurried across the rubble desperately searching for his family amongst the stones. "No one asked you to kill all these innocent people!" His fist slammed against the rubble as tears ran down his face... what's the point of being free if I'm alome!! Why Volo, why did you kill my family?!"

"But..." Volo started to speak before Poncho cut him off.

"No! I don't want to hear your excuses! Just... just.. just go di-..!"

"Daddy!!" Somo shouted followed by Bero, "Daddy!" Their voices visibly shaking Poncho as he turned slowly and saw his children alive and well.

"B-but h-how is this possible... How did you..?"

"When we saw what Volo was up too, we gathered up the townsfolk and made it to the port in time. Thankfully it took awhile for all the braces to finally give." Priscilla said kindly as she walked up behind the children, much to her husbands delight. "Last the marines reported, not a single death has been discovered."

"Wha...." Ponchos words trailed off as he turned back towards Volo, " P-please.....forgive me..."

"Tch...hehehe no worries! Ain't nothing to forgive." Volo smiled as he knocked out his last cigarette and flicked it into his mouth. " You could give me a light though."

"Hohohoho... I'd be honored too." Striking a match before holding it out, meeting Vo halfway as the pi(lot)rate nurses the ember.

"There he is!!" A crowd shouted in the distance, "Get him!!" A mob of angry marines and villagers charged towards him, armed with everything from military weapons to gardening tools.

"Well now, looks like this is where I take my leave, it was nice meeting you guys, good luck from here on out!" Volo said with a smile, giving them a wave before blasting off into the sky, not giving them a chance to say goodbye. "WAHOOOOO AHAHAHAHAHA!!"
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Sep 23, 2020 1:35 pm
Volo made his way through the back alleys of Treble, doing his best to avoid the swarms of marines and angry townspeople. Damnit... if only I didnt forget to get the supplies I came for, otherwise I coulda been outta here already... His thoughts raced as he ran from cover to cover. The normally crowded bazaar having been cleared out due to the fighting. Leaving several stands fully stocked and unattended, their shopkeepers unable to proper close during the madness caused by the sudden evacuation.

"Hehehe.." Volo snickered to himself as he peered over some barrels, spying an unguarded food stand. Flicking out a cigarette from the crumpled carton and placing it in his mouth before patting down his pockets for a lighter. "God damnit..." he mumbled as a lit match appeared in front of his face, "Oh, thanks, mate.." He said casually, lighting the cigarette, "WAHHHHH!" Finally reacting to Ponchos presence next to him.

"Hello there, young Volo." He said calmly as he waved the match flame out, "I have come to properly thank you by assisting in your endeavor to gather supplies."

"Nah man, no worries, its cool. Really, totally not a big deal." Volo stammered, hesitant to accept his help, fully aware of the mans limitations.

"Fear not, I may not be a fighter, but I'm a damn good thief!" With a thumbs up and a smile, Poncho slinked away in the blink of an eye.

"Wha...? Where the hell?" Snapping his head back and forth as he lost sight of his newfound friend, before observing him creeping up on the stand in an extremely obvious manner.

"Now then..." Poncho muttered confidently, "YEEEEEEE AWWWWWWW RUN!!!" He shouted, swiping several pieces of fruit from the table before taking off running.

"WAHHHHH?!*enel face* That's not discreet at all!!" Volo shouted in amazement as he observed Poncho get tackled by a marine patrol.

"H-help me Volo!! Volo the hero of Treble, breaker of the Birds Nest, Wearer of the Red Scarf and Flyer of the Skies, Volo please help me!!" Poncho shouted desperately, being sure to name Volo and point in his direction the entire time, alerting the marines to the pi(lot)rates presence.

"Forget this guy, it's that fucking kid who destroyed the base and the town, get him!" The patrol screamed, alerting the surrounding civilians to Volo's presence as well, "Hey yeah, that's the bastard who destroyed my house! Get him!" A civilian echoed the marines sentiment. "Yeah, he destroyed my shop!" Another called out. "Yeah, mine too, the shitty pirate!!"

"Uhhhh... hehehe...my bad..?" Volo stammered before taking off running the opposite direction, closely tailed by the angry mob. Leaving Poncho as the singular person on the street, left alone with all the shops wares fully accessible.

"Now then, keep them busy for alittle while, sir Volo..." Poncho snickered with a glint in his eye.
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 28, 2020 2:09 pm
Huff...huff... huff... "Sheeeewwww" Volo struggled to catch his breath as he leaned over, hands on his knees. "Those villagers sure can run!" Shooting upwards he glanced around and checked the immediate area, " Alright, from here I should be able to double back around to the port and meet up with Ponocho..." He mumbled as he flicked a cigarette from the carton, noticing a lit torch on the wall he wandered over and leaned it, not even attempting to look for his own lighter at this point.

"Alright let's get to it!" He snickered, strapping on his goggles before bending his knees, "Wah-OOO HAHAHAHAHAHA" Shouting as he sprung up into the hair, his legs now a billowing smoke cloud.

"There!" The naval patrols on the ground could be heard shouting as the saw the gray smoke and flashing red scarf dancing through the air. Gunfire erupted across the town as they hopelessly took aim at the logia user racing across the skies. The townsfolk, in an effort to Express their rage, hurled whatever they could into the skies as well.

"Tch..." Volo gritted his teeth. "Ungrateful ass..." Mumbling to himself as he picked up speed, twisting and turning, leaving a lasting smoke trail as he did so.

Smell ya later, losers.

-Volo


Taking off towards the port as he finished, "Look! Hes going to the port, he must have a ship there!!" A marine called outs prompting a mad dash to the water. Villagers and marines alike rampaging their way through the desolate streets, all converging on the dock where Emilia floated, awaiting her captains return.

"Not alotta time..." His footsteps echoing off the water as he sprinted down the old wooden dock. The distant shouting of the angry mob growing louder with every second. Without thinking, he sprinted onto the ship, forgetting the release the ropes tying the vessel down. " Alright girl, dont fail me now!" Emilia creaked and groaned as the engines erupted and the balloon began to inflant. With each lever pull leading them closer and closer to escape. "C'mon, c'c'mn..." He mumbled, flicking switch after switch.

Peering out of the cockpit window, Poncho and the supplies were nowhere to be found, but the pursuing mob was rounding the corner. Revealing an angry blob like mass, armed to the teeth with various weaponry. "Shit...Sorry Poncho.." Volo grunted as he pressed the final button for take off, powering the various propeller rotors along the vessel.

"That must be it!!" They shouted, pointing to the hulking abomination that was Emilia, the balloon filled to the point of being able to begin raising the vessel out of the water. Tightening the tie downs which held it, causing the wooden dock to splinter and snap, the tension of which caused the wooden shrapnel to lodge into the lower hull. "Hurry !! Dont let him get away!" "Get back here and pay my insurance deductible you scoundrel!" "My business is gone because of you!" "You bastard, get back here!" "Coward!" The various voices of the mob called out as they launched every they head the ascending vessel, even long after it was out of view.

Once above the clouds, Volo pulled.several levers to maintain a steady altitude before taking a sigh of relief. "What a close one, eh, Emilia?" Laughing as he plucked a cigarette from the package, flicking into his mouth as he headed out of the room and down the hall. Coming into his work shop, he noticed several large crates with a note attached;

Dear, Volo

I cannot thank you enough for what you have done... I know the people do not see it now, but in the coming days things are sure to change for the better and that is all thanks to you.... Sure they will be hard, but we will adapte and overcome. Thanks to you, we now have the freedom to choose our own destinies.

I know you hate goodbyes, so take this as a gift from Trebel and think of it as a stay alive till we see ya again and not a parting gift.

P.S. Take these, you will need them when I'm not around.

Be well,
Poncho


Tears welled up in the young man's eyes as he read the letter, staining the parchment as they ran down his face. Attached to the letter was a pack of matches, pulling one out he struck it along the wrapper and help the flame to his face. Studying it forna moment before inhaling deeply, burning the cigarette quickly as the ember raced up then paper. "Hehehe, thanks, Poncho"
Volo Rosso
Volo Rosso
[tracker=/t2130-volo-rosso-airheart#12332]
Name : Volo Rosso Airheart
Epithet : Red Wing Volo
Age : 19
Height : 6'0"
Weight : 190
Species : Human
Faction : Pirate
Crew : Red Wing Pirates
Ship : Emilia
Crew Role : Captain
Devil Fruit : Moku Moku no mi
Bounty : [ber=r] 30,000,000
Quality Score : S
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Balance : [ber] 85,378,125
[[untouchable]][[childofdestiny]][[punchoutguru]]
Posts : 109

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 28, 2020 2:26 pm
2 Weeks later

The sounds of construction filled the air, the clanging of metal, sawing of wood, men hollering about this and that as they lugged the building materials all over the site. In the time since Volo's attack, something the media has now dubbed the Black Drum Debacle, much to the governments chargrin. The poorer resident's of Treble banded together, using the hulking metal ruins of the Birds Nest as a skeletal structure for an entirely new district. Poncho, having observed Emilia's hybrid hull, got the idea to fuse the towns traditional wooden architecture with the immovable metal remains of the former marine base.

The thousands of displaced and previously forgotten about rabble under Lopaws horrific reign now flourished, having created what amounts to their own town on the outskirts of Treble. Something that satisfied the upper class of the city as well, as they were more than happy to offer any help they could provide to further what they observed as segregating the peasant population.

As for Captain Lopaw, with the high profile media attention brought on by the destruction of such a fixture in the Southern Naval Branch for such a long time. A lengthy investigation was launched, revealing not only the atrocities he committed, but also the treatment he subjected then people too. This led to his courtmarshalling and subsequent issue for arrest, however, Lopaw escaped before his apprehension. Now being labelled a pirate and enemy of the government much like his ancestor.

Somewhere in the clouds above south blue

Emilia's hull creaked as Volo leaned over the railing, gazing put into the clouds. caw caw The sound snapping him back to reality as a news coo gull descended down upon him. Flicking a coin, the bird exchanged the paper before taking its leave. "Huh? What's this..?" He mumbled as he flipped to a page titled 'Black Drum Debacle'. "Wha...WHAT?!?!" His jaw dropped, noticing the wanted poster plastered with his face underneath the title.
Gray
Gray
The Conqueror / Black Fist
[tracker=/t131-tracker-gray-starks#504]
Name : Gray
Epithet : "The Conqueror"; "Black Fist"
Age : 49
Height : 10'2" (310 cm)
Weight : 1043 lbs (473 kg)
Species : Cyborg Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Lurking Legend (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Sangria's Vane (Destroyed)
Crew Role : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Bounty : [ber=r] 5,000,000,000
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Income Bonus : +0.20
Shop Discount : -30%
Balance : [bel] 25,000,000,000
[[strollingdeath]][[baneoftheweak]][[riseandshine]][[childofdestiny]][[freakofnature]]
[[punchoutguru]][[dulcetvirtuoso]]

[[improviseadaptovercome]]
Posts : 3907

[Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island! Empty Re: [Episode]Enter Volo! Drummin up Treble on Black Drum Island!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Nov 25, 2020 1:56 pm

GRADING


COMMENTS
Volo Rosso
+ [ "So this is the sky, huh?"] You can do better.
+ You did a great job presenting some of Volo's personality through his actions in the first post. Imagining Volo leaning down into the stove fire to light his cigarette while it was in his mouth made me laugh.
+ I recommend researching proper terminology for the parts of a ship/airship. I believe the term you're looking for might be "bridge" and not "cockpit".
+ Sometimes, you overuse the word "race". XD
+ [Once back on the ship though, Volo set his focus onto his true nemesis, the largest thorn in his side, losing lighters. Unaware of the dangers that lie ahead.] This paragraph felt awkwardly worded. Here is how I would adjust it using your diction: [Once back on the ship, Volo returned his attention to his true nemeses, the prickliest thorns in his side, lost lighters. He remained unaware of the dangers lying ahead.]
+ There are frequent minor grammatical errors in your posts that detract from the overall experience. You need to get into the habit of re-reading your posts.
+ [Volo shouted, as he billowed into the room at high speeds, taking out both men by closing lining them into the wall.] What room? Wasn't the commotion in an alley?
+ [Volo and the toy boys] Sounds highly inappropriate, dude.
+ [But the young man needn't ask a soul, remembering the sights of the back alleys well, the sick and the poor stuffed away like rats as the upper class battered in the markets. He saw the shack that Poncho and in his family sheltered in desperately and tried their damndest to make a home of.] It would've been better to show these details beforehand. Setting up a scene/location thoroughly when your character first encounters it allows you to make more effective references to it later.
+ Lmao. Don't just write [*enel face*] or [*super enel face*]. Describe it with words. Don't cheat your creative writing. It's funny the first time. The four other times you use it is just laziness.
+ I think you could improve the introduction of your antagonists. Lopaw's first appearance was a bit too jarring. The first room that you showed Volo investigating just happened to have the big baddie waiting for him along with evidence of the worst of his misdeeds? You should've built up to this - have Volo explore some rooms, find hints of what's going on at this base, evade some patrolling marines. All in all, the intro just felt rushed with no payoff, later on, to make up for it.
+ How did Lopaw know he was a pirate? Why was he just stalking his own kill room as if he were expecting Volo to come? Volo's encounter with marines in the first post was not enough to justify that. I was expecting a bit of a cheesy twist where I would later find out that Lopaw was waiting for Volo because it was a trap (or rather, a sacrifice) set by Poncho. Similar to what Conis does with the Straw Hats on Skypeia at first.
+ I was glad to see an explanation for why Volo was using scare tactics on Lopaw even though it didn't seem to fit his personality.
+ Limit yourself to making the pi(lot)rate pun once per thread. And, since I brought it up, really, it's not a good pun.
+  Where did that P.A. system come from? Either mystify the loud voice's origin more if you don't want to explain it yet, or, provide some sort of explanation. Otherwise, it feels like a classic Deus Ex Machina.
+ [*mic clicking over to normal audio*] [*whispers as he pulls mic away*] Things like this are not okay in proper writing. It breaks the rhythm of your writing.
+ I was not at all impressed by the dialogue in this thread. Volo had a good start, but, his dialogue eventually just felt lazy and far too generic.
+ I couldn't tell how far the Bird's Nest was from Treble? At first, you kinda made it seem like it was farther off into the mountains. But, later, random citizens in town seem to be able to see Volo in vivid detail.
+ The backstory of Lopaw was rather weak. Rather than doing a narrator exposition, you should've done a flashback or something from his perspective. Similar to Orochi's flashback, where we see the moment he is told about his ancestry. There just wasn't any emotion here.
+ The whole the Bird's Nest collapsing on hundreds of homes without a single casualty was a difficult pill to swallow.  

I think there's a lot of room for improvement not only in terms of writing but, in terms of story structure as well. You've gotta build up to the peaks in your story, and be aware of the valleys. Plot points like Volo discovering  Lopaw's ugly misdeeds, or the townsfolk seeing Lopaw defeated, or Poncho believing his family was dead - these moments should all have had way more of an impact than they did. The ending itself felt quite a bit rushed too. While I imagine you plan to reuse Lopaw in the future (?), narrating everything that happened later the way you did was the wrong approach. Instead, you could've literally had Volo read some of those details from the News Coo gull.

All characters felt rather thin in personality too. I simply failed to feel anything for Poncho, and his bond with Volo was not earned through emotional writing. It felt more like you stating "this and this happened, Volo helped him, Poncho happy". Volo himself started off strong, but, his personality soon felt one-dimensional and repetitive. This is not because he is a one-dimensional character. Your writing simply didn't do your characters justice.

To describe this more in terms you might be familiar with - writing is similar to drawing. Just like how each stroke is unique and an important part of a drawing, every sentence is an essential tool in service of the overall story. Every sentence in a story should contribute towards and progress the story and its characters. As such, every sentence should be measured and calculated. Some people can do this unconsciously, but, people like us have to do it deliberately.



REWARDS

Volo Rosso
Difficulty Bonus: +0% (+0)
Quality Bonus: +100% (A)

EXP: 100 [50 + (100%*50) + (0%*50)]
Berries: 5,500,000 [250k*11 + 100%(250k*11) + 0%(250k*11)]
Bounty: 14,200,000 | {For destroying a marine base and half a town.}

Old balance: 50,000
Updated balance: 5,550,000



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