[Episode] Stealing Candy from an Ogre

The dishonest doctor had always specialized more in physical rather than mental health. Still, it was his professional medical opinion that in a stressful situation, appetite was the first thing to go. Only two kinds of people would spring for a snack in the middle of a heist: hopeless gluttons... and psychopaths. Now, far be it from him to judge anyone, BUT...

Richard stuffed the fearful speculation into a mental bottle and put a cork on it for now. There were far bigger things to worry about right now. Like, say, the two approaching guards! ...Two, uh, incredibly dead guards.

Well then.

The rat shifted his blank stare between the corpses and the gold-clad killer. Clearly his partner in crime was a man of action. Very violent action. A small, nagging voice -known in some circles as the conscience- reminded him that he was supposed to feel something. Remorseful, perhaps. Or at least slightly horrified... Yet his shoulders heaved with a relieved sigh. Phew... Close, much too close.

Richard’s relief was short-lived, however. The golden smile sent a shiver down his spine. Swallowing the clump of fear clinging to his throat, he nervously snuck closer. “As it happens, I'm size ‘whatever disguise saves me from getting shot’.” He wasn’t the slightest bit picky. Although this slimmer fellow seemed closer to his frame...

With the swiftness of a seasoned graverobber, the crook yoinked the guard’s jacket and pants. A little too big, but it wouldn’t matter. He pulled the disguise on top of his suit. His dear hat was hastily flattened and stuffed beneath the jacket. For the finishing touches, he ruffled his hair and moustache into a dirty mess before crowning the disguise with a guard cap.

In a matter of quiet minutes, the filthy doctor turned into a passable guard. At least if no one looked or sniffed too closely. He lifted a hand to adjust his tie out of nervous habit, before realizing it was beneath the jacket. His fingers twitched, before withdrawing to the pants pocket.

And within chimed a treasure...

Richard blinked, pulling out a clunky keyring. Slowly his sharp teeth twisted into a smile. “Well now... Hello, little friend...” Despite the close call, his frail confidence was quickly reforming. With their combined brains and brawn, this would be a breeze, right? Right.

The self-proclaimed brains lifted the keys for the gold-minded brawn to see. “One of these is our ticket to the heart of this place.” Within the laboratory of his mind, ideas boiled and bubbled within imaginary flasks. Drip... Drop... The thoughts condensed into a plan.

Jingling the keys, the crook continued. “Say, you’re good with your fruit, right? Think you can craft a golden copy of these?” His sly gaze swept the hallway. One path to the right, one to the left. “We can cover more ground if we split up, see... Search for the loot...” His thin smile sharpened. “And deal with any guards we run into along the way.” No one would notice the heist... If there was no one left to notice.

WC: 540
Total: 5174