- GuestGuest
[Bio] Luis Ottoborne
Wed Dec 06, 2023 6:17 pm
Luis Ottoborne
Basic Character Information
Forename: Luis
Middle Name/Initial:
Surname: Ottoborne
Epithet: “The Crow Mercenary”
Birthdate: Febuary 17th, 1798
Gender: Male
Species/Tribe: Human
Faction: Revolutionaries
Profession: Assassin
Physical Appearance
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 140 lbs
Hair Style: Jagged Bangs
Hair Color: Yellow
Eye Color: Black
Scars: Faded Right Eye Scar
Gear: Luis Usually Wears A White Collared Shirt With Long White Sleeves, With A Long Orange Sleeveless Jacket. On The Bottom Half He Wears Chocolate Brown Rolled Up Long Pants With Two Orange Striped Socks, Wearing Dark Brown Boots As Footwear. Along With That He Wears A Mattered Yellow Construction Hat.
He Has A Pet Crow Named Kaia, Who A Male And Is Very Intelligent
His Weapon Style Of Choice Is A Long, Curved Tip Sword With A Beige Colored Stander And Handle.
Description: Luis Is A Pretty Tall Revolutionary, With A Straight Like Body Shape Most Others Have.
The Past
Main Traits: Double-Sided, Content, (Mostly) Friendly, Violent (Sometimes)
Likes: The Revolutionary Army, Playing The Violin
Dislikes: The World Government, The Sound Of Shots (It Gives Him PTSD), Cowardly People
Unique laugh: Gya-hahahahaha!
Hometown: Conomi Islands, East Blue, Visits Sometimes.
Personality: Luis Is Shown As A Double-Sided, Content Dude. But Mostly, Is VERY Kind. But When It Comes To Fighting, He Is VERY Violent With Opponents, Where As Much As Far For Other Revolutionaries To Stop Him.
- History:
Born In The Conomi Islands, Luis Was Mostly A Calm Person Back Then. He Had A Crush On This Girl (Still Thinking Of Name To Give), Who Taught Him How To Play The Violin. Once He Was 19; He Gave The Chance To Ask Out The Girl, But Before He Could Do So..He Saw Her Body Laying On The Floor, Barely Breathing. With Her Overprotective Father Holding The Gun. In A Fit Of Rage; Luis Killed The Man; But Also Felt Guilt For The Girl. So, He Buried Her In His Backyard; To Be Remembered Always.
(Also Since I Got The Child Of Destiny, Dose That Mean I Can Have The D. In My Middle Initials?)
- Gray
[tracker=/t131-tracker-gray-starks#504]
Name : Gray
Epithet : "The Conqueror"; "Black Fist"
Age : 49
Height : 10'2" (310 cm)
Weight : 1043 lbs (473 kg)
Species/Tribe : Cyborg Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Lurking Legend (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Sangria's Vane (Destroyed)
Crew Role : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Bounty : [ber=r] 5,000,000,000
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Income Bonus : +0.20
Shop Discount : -30%
Balance : [bel] 25,000,000,000
[[strollingdeath]][[baneoftheweak]][[riseandshine]][[childofdestiny]][[freakofnature]]
[[punchoutguru]][[dulcetvirtuoso]]
[[improviseadaptovercome]]
Posts : 3963
Re: [Bio] Luis Ottoborne
Wed Dec 06, 2023 6:25 pm
[warn=""]I'm sorry to say but I think you may not be a good fit for Revival Dawn based on your current writing competency. If you're willing to struggle through it regardless, that's up to you, but I find your submission to be severely lacking in quality and grammatical correctness, and that may hold you back significantly when it comes to progressing forward on the site.
Also, no, you may not start with the "D" middle initial.[/warn]
Also, no, you may not start with the "D" middle initial.[/warn]
The Crow Mercenary wrote:Luis Ottoborne
Basic Character Information
Forename: Luis
Middle Name/Initial:
Surname: Ottoborne
Epithet: “The Crow Mercenary”
Birthdate: Febuary 17th, 1798
Gender: Male
Species/Tribe: Human
Faction: Revolutionaries
Profession: Assassin
Physical Appearance
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 140 lbs
Hair Style: Jagged Bangs
Hair Color: Yellow
Eye Color: Black
Scars: Faded Right Eye Scar
Gear: Luis Usually Wears A White Collared Shirt With Long White Sleeves, With A Long Orange Sleeveless Jacket. On The Bottom Half He Wears Chocolate Brown Rolled Up Long Pants With Two Orange Striped Socks, Wearing Dark Brown Boots As Footwear. Along With That He Wears A Mattered Yellow Construction Hat.
He Has A Pet Crow Named Kaia, Who A Male And Is Very Intelligent
His Weapon Style Of Choice Is A Long, Curved Tip Sword With A Beige Colored Stander And Handle.
Description: Luis Is A Pretty Tall Revolutionary, With A Straight Like Body Shape Most Others Have.
The Past
Main Traits: Double-Sided, Content, (Mostly) Friendly, Violent (Sometimes)
Likes: The Revolutionary Army, Playing The Violin
Dislikes: The World Government, The Sound Of Shots (It Gives Him PTSD), Cowardly People
Unique laugh: Gya-hahahahaha!
Hometown: Conomi Islands, East Blue, Visits Sometimes.
Personality: Luis Is Shown As A Double-Sided, Content Dude. But Mostly, Is VERY Kind. But When It Comes To Fighting, He Is VERY Violent With Opponents, Where As Much As Far For Other Revolutionaries To Stop Him.
- History:
Born In The Conomi Islands, Luis Was Mostly A Calm Person Back Then. He Had A Crush On This Girl (Still Thinking Of Name To Give), Who Taught Him How To Play The Violin. Once He Was 19; He Gave The Chance To Ask Out The Girl, But Before He Could Do So..He Saw Her Body Laying On The Floor, Barely Breathing. With Her Overprotective Father Holding The Gun. In A Fit Of Rage; Luis Killed The Man; But Also Felt Guilt For The Girl. So, He Buried Her In His Backyard; To Be Remembered Always.
(Also Since I Got The Child Of Destiny, Dose That Mean I Can Have The D. In My Middle Initials?)
- GuestGuest
Re: [Bio] Luis Ottoborne
Wed Dec 06, 2023 6:27 pm
Gray wrote:[warn=""]I'm sorry to say but I think you may not be a good fit for Revival Dawn based on your current writing competency. If you're willing to struggle through it regardless, that's up to you, but I find your submission to be severely lacking in quality and grammatical correctness, and that may hold you back significantly when it comes to progressing forward on the site.
Also, no, you may not start with the "D" middle initial.[/warn]The Crow Mercenary wrote:Luis Ottoborne
Basic Character Information
Forename: Luis
Middle Name/Initial:
Surname: Ottoborne
Epithet: “The Crow Mercenary”
Birthdate: Febuary 17th, 1798
Gender: Male
Species/Tribe: Human
Faction: Revolutionaries
Profession: Assassin
Physical Appearance
Height: 6’4”
Weight: 140 lbs
Hair Style: Jagged Bangs
Hair Color: Yellow
Eye Color: Black
Scars: Faded Right Eye Scar
Gear: Luis Usually Wears A White Collared Shirt With Long White Sleeves, With A Long Orange Sleeveless Jacket. On The Bottom Half He Wears Chocolate Brown Rolled Up Long Pants With Two Orange Striped Socks, Wearing Dark Brown Boots As Footwear. Along With That He Wears A Mattered Yellow Construction Hat.
He Has A Pet Crow Named Kaia, Who A Male And Is Very Intelligent
His Weapon Style Of Choice Is A Long, Curved Tip Sword With A Beige Colored Stander And Handle.
Description: Luis Is A Pretty Tall Revolutionary, With A Straight Like Body Shape Most Others Have.
The Past
Main Traits: Double-Sided, Content, (Mostly) Friendly, Violent (Sometimes)
Likes: The Revolutionary Army, Playing The Violin
Dislikes: The World Government, The Sound Of Shots (It Gives Him PTSD), Cowardly People
Unique laugh: Gya-hahahahaha!
Hometown: Conomi Islands, East Blue, Visits Sometimes.
Personality: Luis Is Shown As A Double-Sided, Content Dude. But Mostly, Is VERY Kind. But When It Comes To Fighting, He Is VERY Violent With Opponents, Where As Much As Far For Other Revolutionaries To Stop Him.
- History:
Born In The Conomi Islands, Luis Was Mostly A Calm Person Back Then. He Had A Crush On This Girl (Still Thinking Of Name To Give), Who Taught Him How To Play The Violin. Once He Was 19; He Gave The Chance To Ask Out The Girl, But Before He Could Do So..He Saw Her Body Laying On The Floor, Barely Breathing. With Her Overprotective Father Holding The Gun. In A Fit Of Rage; Luis Killed The Man; But Also Felt Guilt For The Girl. So, He Buried Her In His Backyard; To Be Remembered Always.
(Also Since I Got The Child Of Destiny, Dose That Mean I Can Have The D. In My Middle Initials?)
ah ok! I’ll edit it better next time!
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