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Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!  Empty Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Wed Aug 30, 2017 2:09 pm
The Quest:

Loguetown. An island full of pirates, bandits and crime. Weasel understood it, in fact he didn't like rules himself. He just hated the people of Loguetown for what became of his family. He's lost plenty of loved ones to murder, trafficking, and more. Walking through the cobblestone streets, he felt anger leave him the closer he got to the docks. Soon, he'd be rid of this place. Soon, he'd free himself of the bane that has been looming over his head since birth. His family has been terrorized by criminals for too long and they simply wanted an honest business. People shouldn't be surprised when Weasel steals from them.

A simple slip into the pocket lets him restore his family's wealth bit by bit. Just a little slip... Weasel attempted to pick-pocket a quite dazzling damsel, nearly catching her attention but not quite. Successfully, he took the coin purse and calmly walked away. The trick was to take the valuable or money and disappear into the crowd. Do not look back, or else they will know it was you. Do not be out in the open, or else they will get suspicious. Either way, it was going to be anywhere from thirty seconds to hours before the lady noticed. In this type of town, ladies definitely abused the hyper-masculinity and heterosexuality of criminals. They did not pay for much and stole what they could.

Weasel preyed on them for that very reason. Easy money. Weasel saw the docks up ahead, but stopped by the general store run by a friend of his. Instantly, he was greeted. "Hey! Weasel-man, come to pick up a few things for the trip?" Weasel smirked, quickly making his way through the store. He stole a few random tools he felt he'd need for the journey, but made sure to pick up envelopes and some navigation tools to be legitimately bought. "Yeah, gotta stop by the Ottsel Hole before I go, though. Forgot Woninnabet and the cash from the deposit box." "Heh, I can't believe you won that thing in a game of dice! Against Pirates! They always cheat, and they always name things poorly. Won-in-a-bet said really fast? Pffft!" Weasel laughed in his unique, monotone way.

"Yeah, hoi-hoi-hoi. I was lucky to leave alive." The shop-owner laughed a bit harder, likely at Weasel's very seriously plain laugh. Which he knew, but ignored as he payed for his things. "Oh, by the way, I'm only lettin' ya take them because I know you need them." Weasel looked at the elderly man in front of him, smiling. "Thanks, Frederick. I'm gonna miss this place. I mean, only this place. Everywhere else is trash." The shop-owner laughed heartily, nearly shedding a tear as he was clearly sad in such a bellow. "I...appreciate that Weasel. I'll see you around, when you have a SWEET million-berry-bounty!" "Yeah....I guess so. If I ever return. See-ya, Fred."

Weasel solemnly left the store, his newly obtained possessions in a bag. He made his way for the Ottsel Hole, a tavern-furnishing shop duo. It was closed down, but it doubled as his family's home, so he needed to retrieve the last few valuables he had. Probably gonna sell some of the souvenirs and trophies...hopefully it didn't get pillaged yet.


Last edited by Weasel on Mon Sep 04, 2017 12:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:32 pm
Cutting through a few alleys and somehow avoiding many hooligans, Weasel made it pretty safely to the area of his family's shop. With a kick in his step and a smile on his face, he walked ahead. Faintly, he heard noises of excitement and things dropping, which made him worry. Weasel scurried to his shop, only to find the front of it blown out. Frozen in place, he couldn't decide whether fear or anger was washing over him. He stared at it like a gigantic cave entrance, eyes broadly open and mouth slightly open. Falling to his knees, he thought about how these scoundrels ruined the business already, but to desecrate it?

They are not going to get away with this... Seeing someone exit the shop, he approached them and they immediately ran. This prompted the snow-haired man to chase him down. Weasel was quite the runner, so he easily caught up and tackled the man carrying a wheel to a helm. Taking the wheel and jamming it down on the man's throat, he lost his composure for one moment. "Who did this?" "I-I don't know Weasel!" "Nah, I don't like that answer. I'm not gonna ask a lot of questions, just tell me who did it or I'll suffocate you." Weasel looked at the man not with uncontrollable rage but a calm, dead-serious face.

For a moment, there was silence. The man was too afraid to say anything, so Weasel started pressed down with the wheel. "Ok-chgah! Okay!" Weasel let the wheel off and smiled, breaking it on the wall beside them. "It was...Goderich. He had his boys bust open your ship and everyone took the supplies. Even your liquor." Weasel nodded, slamming the man in the face with his fist. Getting up, he put on his shuko and climbed to the top of his shop. He always expected something like this might happen as soon as he tries to leave. This meant he had to keep his own possessions safe.

On the roof, he found his kusarigama, Woninnabet. Looking onward and downhill, he saw a few people scurrying off with the goods his parents have been collecting for years to sell. This is why I'm leaving this dump. Everyone has to be a thief, not just me.
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:03 am
Weasel jumped from the roof of the Ottsel Hole, tossing the chain of Woninnabet and hooking the weight on the balcony of another building. Using it as a fulcrum, he swung widely and moved his body in a way that provided the greatest resistance. Slowing himself down, he landed on the ground safely and whipped his chain. Sending a curl through the chain, it popped the weight off the balcony. Weasel spun around to let the chain falling wrap around his torso smoothly. Holstering the bladed part, he checked his pockets and made sure his shuko were there.

Continuing forward after confirming this, he put a lot of energy into his step. It wouldn't be long before he found the dump all the bandits got together. There were numerous of them, so a head-on assault wasn't going to work. He'd need to find the local arms shop and see what kind of tools and weapons they had. Picking them off was his best course of action, which was made easier by the multiple stories in the run-down bandit bar. Keeping his hood up, he slipped away from the glorified urine-spout and went down a few blocks. At one of the corners he'd come across a shop with a sign adorning swords and guns.

Hm, I should take a pistol for emergencies...but I need to keep my inventory restricted to low-profile things. Only issue is... Weasel felt his pockets, only having a few berry beside the coin purse he stole earlier. ...I don't have much on hand. Oh well, I guess 'what's your's is mine is also still mine' applies here. Weasel casually strolled into the alley of the arms shop, noticing a guard standing against the wall next to the back door. The guard was smoking and thankfully hadn't noticed the hooded thief.

Unraveling a bit of his chain, he snuck closer to the guard, preparing the weight of Woninnabet. Suddenly and as quickly as possible, he whirled and wrapped the chain around the man's neck and let the weight hook onto the chain. Weasel pulled as hard as he could, using the weight of the guard creating resistance to pull and tighten the loop. Moving forward, he wrapped the chain up around his body using dextrous movements. Weasel stepped on the guard's chest and pulled as hard as he could until the man was passed out.

Letting the man free of the chain, he grabbed the keys on the guard and entered through the back door. Carefully moving through the corridors, he found the entrance into the basement and followed it. Reaching a door that was locked, he sighed. Within the exact timing of his sigh, he felt wind pass by and a thump near him. Looking slightly to his left, an arrow was planted into the door-frame. Turning, he saw another guard whom he assumed might've found the unconscious guard outside.

"Uh, hello....How's your day?" "Y'know, full of fuckin' scoundrels." "Oh, I hope they didn't give you too much trouble." "Not yet, but they're about to." "Oh dear."
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:51 am
Weasel looked at the guard, who turned and started putting a hand to his mouth. As soon as he saw he was out of the man's line of vision, he whipped his body to release the weight and used his arm to shoot it into the guard's throat. Struggling to breathe, the guard began to fall but was fortunately caught by Weasel so there wouldn't be a crashing noise. Laying the guard down, Weasel put his knee on the guard's throat and waited until he was asleep. Unlocking the basement door, he felt like he entered a sea of candy. Shurikens, rope, pistols; such a limitless amount of goods to infiltrate Goderich's den.

Weasel took what he could and decided to plot the invasion for nighttime. Everyone there will be drunk and vulnerable to whatever methods Weasel decides on using. Taking two massive bags of tools and ammunition to the ruined Ottsel Hole, he prepared an infiltration outfit lined with various tools. Keeping his chain wrapped around his arm rather than his torso, he made sure he was ready to release the weight for incapacitation when needed. Because they wouldn't reload efficiently, he kept two pistols on his person and six shuriken. Along with that was a proper grappling hook and two pouches holding gunpowder and bullets respectively.

Once nighttime struck the town, Weasel snuck back over to the bar and climbed an adjacent building. Watching through the windows, he noticed quite a few people were drunk and accompanied by prostitutes. Smiling, he used the grappling hook to reach the rooftop of the bandit's den, finding himself a few feet away from two drunken scouts. He pulled one with his chain and choked him out, the other having terrible reaction time. Using the weight, he knocked the second person out and barely caught the body from falling in time.

Sighing out of relief, he looked at the door leading to the top floor. This is it. Go time.
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:09 pm
Weasel slowly and softly opened the door leading to the top floor, descending with caution. He made sure to check every corner as he entered the biggest room of the floor, noticing there were several people passed out from drinking. The prostitutes were rummaging through their pockets and ignored Weasel when they saw him. He was relieved that they didn't care, so they likely hated the bandits forcing themselves on the den. Searching a few of the rooms, he realized that Goderich was not on this floor. Shit. I reaaaaally hope he isn't on the bottom floor. Which means he might have started on the wrong floor.

Moving on down, Weasel thought he was going to slip smoothly through the floors. He did for the first floor he passed through...but not long into the next he was met with quite the obstacle. Two guards covering the staircase had a pretty good formation to cover most blind spots. Weasel knew he couldn't simply knock them out, so he decided to pull his shuriken and prepared to descend upon them. Right before he did that, a bellow came from the corridor leading away from the staircase. "Ah, the only two people in this whole damn building who aren't slamming down some ale. What dedication!"

Goderich. Weasel felt his body fill with anger, so he descended as quickly as possible. Like a darting shadow, he moved passed the two and Goderich saw them fall to the floor. Each guard fell on their belly, showing the shuriken planted into the backs of their heads. "Hey." Goderich knew immediately who it was, completely expecting some sort of response from Weasel. "Oi, I was wonderin' when the lil' Ottsel was gonna come try to claim jewels which are rightfully mine!" Weasel shook his had, beginning to swing the chain of Woninnabet. His shuko were pointing out from the back of his hands. Both drew a pistol at each other, forming a stalemate.

"We should settle this like men, I take it? Eh-heh-heh-heh. I'm gonna rip your throat out and take that purdy blade-and-chain ya have there."

"I'm going to kill you. I don't think I need too many words for that."


Goderich's Stats
Attack: 70
Defense: 50
Reflex: 40
Willpower: 40

HP: 120
THE FIGHT BEGINS!


Last edited by Weasel on Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!  Empty Re: Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:59 am
Weasel uses HT [SNIPE] on Goderich
Weasel uses LT [RAT TAIL] on Goderich
Weasel uses UT on Goderich

Goderich uses LT [MACH-1 FIST] on Weasel
Goderich uses LT [GATTLING-BOW] on Weasel
Goderich uses UT on Weasel
NPC
NPC
NPC
Tracker

Name : Variable
Epithet : Variable
Age : 0
Height : Variable
Weight : Variable
Species : Variable
Faction : Variable
Crew : Variable
Ship : Variable
Crew Role : Variable
Devil Fruit : Variable
Bounty : Variable
Balance : Variable
Posts : 1280

Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!  Empty Re: Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 12:59 am
The member 'Weasel' has done the following action : Dices roll


#1 'Reflex Check' : 1, 6, 6

--------------------------------

#2 'Reflex Check' : 15, 7, 1
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:47 am
Weasel looked at the burly man before him, seeing him ready his fists while looking back at Weasel's Woninnabet. They were at a stalemate for a while, waiting for the other to act despite Weasel figuring he was a bit faster. Analyzing the man's weak points, he noticed he was quite top-heavy and prepared for that. Light shining on his bright eyes, Weasel tightened his body and the chain began spinning furiously. The weight scraped against the wooden floor, but Weasel's momentum in the swing didn't care. In the snap of an eye, his weight shot into Goderich's midsection |HT [SNIPE]|.

Weasel snapped back quickly, swinging his body as the burly man slid back harshly from the force. Weasel whipped the chain, watching it hook around Goderich's neck and tighten |LT [RAT TAIL]|. Hooking his leg around the chain, he pulled in Goderich and used the kama portion to cut into Goderich. Being harmlessly repelled by Goderich's sheer force, he came at the snow-haired merchant filled with endorphins. "Fuckin' bastard! I'm gonna make sure I hang ye by the cock!" Weasel chuckled, moving to a messy stand.

"Well, that's if I don't walk out of here with your thievin' head!"SLAM! A bullet-like fist came careening towards Weasel |LT [MACH FIST]|. The fist sent him into the stairs, breaking through the fencing around it and making him stumble down the stairs. Goderich slowly came down, looking at him and moving his eyes towards the crowd of pirates who have all stopped drinking to see what came crashing down. "Oi boys! We have ourselves an Ottsel trying to reclaim the mildly valuable feces of his hole!" Weasel was genuinely confused, looking at him as he stumbled to his feet.

"What? That doesn't make any sense...." "It doesn't need to if I rip yer damn 'testines out!" "Woah-what-my what!?" "Your goddamn guts!" "Okay, just making sure Mr. Big Fist. I know you like to grope some testes but I wanted to make sure you didn't think about coming near mine..." Goderich was fuming at the quick banter he engaged with Weasel. Weasel knew what he was doing, so he prepared for the next volley of attacks. Suddenly, Goderich waved off all of his henchmen and came shooting with what seemed like a million elbows. A million POINTLESS but POINTY elbows |LT [GATLING-BOW]|.

They all missed, thankfully. Weasel made sure to step back every time Goderich approached with a couple of fired-off elbows. Just barely, Goderich missed Weasel with a right hook to mix-up his approach. Weasel shook his head and laughed at the sluggish brawler. "Well! What anti-climatic form! I guess I'll have to heat it up." Weasel began whirling his chain around, keeping a firm grip on the kama while walling out Goderich for the moment. Actually, at this rate...this is gonna take a while. At least he can't hit me all too well.




Weasel's Techniques used:

Durations/Cooldowns:

Stats:

ATK V. DEF MATH:
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:49 am
Weasel uses MT [SEVER] on Goderich
Weasel uses LT [GULLOITINE] on Goderich
Weasel uses UT on Goderich

Goderich uses LT [MACH-1 KNEE] on Weasel
Goderich uses LT [MACH-1 ELBOW] on Weasel
Goderich uses UT on Weasel
NPC
NPC
NPC
Tracker

Name : Variable
Epithet : Variable
Age : 0
Height : Variable
Weight : Variable
Species : Variable
Faction : Variable
Crew : Variable
Ship : Variable
Crew Role : Variable
Devil Fruit : Variable
Bounty : Variable
Balance : Variable
Posts : 1280

Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!  Empty Re: Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 1:49 am
The member 'Weasel' has done the following action : Dices roll


#1 'Reflex Check' : 8, 11, 10

--------------------------------

#2 'Reflex Check' : 2, 17, 6
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:19 am
Weasel notices one of the henchmen  attempt to draw and pistol and Goderich simply knocks them out by throwing one of the flimsy tables nearby. This gave him the perfect opening, prompting Weasel to move in. This moment is critical. I have to make the most of my openings...otherwise he's gonna decapitate me with another one of those fists. Weasel couldn't help but yell out as he slashed open the lower portion of Goderich's torso. In the same motion, he swung the weight up into the air and brought it back down. Watching it slam onto a  unsuspecting Goderich's head, he saw the burly man slam into the ground |MT [SEVER]|.

Blood spurt from the top of the man's head, prompting Weasel to kick the man onto his back. "GET UP! We aren't DONE! You won't sleep for this one. I'm going to make sure you WATCH as I replay the same feeling my parents had as you..." Weasel teared up, he couldn't even say it. Everyone in the room knew the terrible thing Goderich did to his family. Only the closest circle to the man condoned it. The snow-haired, newly-born pirate couldn't forgive him for that. Goderich struggled to stand, immediately waking up with a massive knee coming for Weasel |LT [MACH-1 KNEE].

Weasel harmlessly parried the man, tossing him to the side but dealing no damage. Goderich came to a stand, looking at Weasel with obviously blank eyes. Pure adrenaline kept the man conscious. There wouldn't be a word peeped from the man's mouth, so Weasel tried testing him to see if he was even capable of striking. Getting in the man's face, he yelled viciously. "I HOPE YOU ROT, YOU FUCKIN' CENTIPEDE'S ARSE!" Uncharacteristic of the monotone boy, reasonably broken by the death of his family. Normally he wouldn't care nor would he express himself like such, but this was a special situation.

Next thing he knew, he was through the bar and into the moonlight street outside the bar. It happened so quick, and his eyes were shrouded by dust and debris |LT [MACH-1 ELBOW]|. Goderich took many slow, heavy steps to the boy, being a few meters away. "Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you immediately. I'm going to treat you just right...just like your parents." Weasel nearly lost consciousness from the hit and from all the rage pumping through him. It would've been more of a blackout, but he still had the energy. Snapping to his feet, he felt blood slide down his face and his body.

Debris had riddled him with many minor wounds, and the elbow made a clear, bloody mark on him. "Best shot? Well I guess..." Weasel dashed, narrowly avoding a sledgehammer-like fist from Goderich. Sliding underneath the burly man's legs, he kicked off the ground and threw his kama with an arc to his arm |UT|. Whirling around Goderich's neck with one loop, Weasel came down while wrapping the chain and tightening the Kama's pressure on Goderich's neck |LT [GUILLOTINE]|. "...you should've downed me in your first go."

Slice! Goderich's head popped off his body, the loop and kama closing in harshly enough to finish the job. Weasel, making a lucky guess, caught the head and nearly fell for attempting it. Looking at the crowd of appalled bandits, he held their boss's head. "LOOK AT YOUR ALMIGHTY KING! Fuck this town. I'm leaving, and I'm going to use every piece of gold I gain to bring you all down. I'm going to tear your home down and build a palace on it." Weasel spit in all the grunts' direction. As they all tried coming after Weasel, he began to make his great escape. He wouldn't really be able to climb, but he would indeed be able to out-run most of them. I guess I'm not getting back what they took, but that first taste of reality...of piracy...of freedom. Damn, just like some cheap wine.




THE BATTLE ENDS! GODERICH IS SLAIN!




Weasel's Techniques Used:

Durations/Cooldowns:

Stats:

Math:
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 04, 2017 12:44 am
The snow-haired merchant dashed through the dimly-lit cobblestone, messily wrapping the chain of his kusarigama around his body. He kept a bit of the length ready, but he wouldn't be doing any long-term climbing. The grunts dashed behind him with great anger, cutlasses and pistols adorned. Narrowly he avoided the bullets whisping through the alleyway with sharp bursts of stone and gunpowder igniting nearly simultaneously filling Weasel's ears. He was quite far from the docks, knowing that the only hope he had of getting out of Loguetown alive was to steal a ship.

Well, he knew a lot about loaning things and their prices and that's exactly what he was willing to do. He was willing to pay the price and willing to run if anyone threatened to break his knees. Shifting through so many alleys to steer some of the grunts off course, Weasel tried his best to thin them out. He figured they'd be prepared to send part of the crew to the docks in order to intersect him. There would likely be people at his former home and even the general store he frequents. This meant they would all likely be gone from the bar. Eventually, he'd cut loose the few actually chasing him.

Heading back to the bar formerly plagued by Goderich, he quickly made his way to the top and found where they kept his stuff. Searching through it, he heard a small group of footsteps returning to the bar. Panicking, he took a tube containing charts, a book containing finance records and his father's jeweled spyglass. Going out of the window, Weasel roughly climbed across the building. Seeing a lower-level balcony to hook his weight onto, he used his chain to descend rather quickly. Peeking around the corner of the broken doorway, he saw a group of five lazy grunts. They decided to let everyone else do the hard work while they drank.

This just made it easier for Weasel, who took the opportunity to flee towards his home. There was one last thing he had to collect.
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:10 am
Weasel found the Ottsel Hole was completely surrounded. It seemed as if the majority of the grunts gathered around there, making it difficult for Weasel to passively enter his former home. Taking a bit to regain himself, he used his shuko to climb the neighboring building. Before pulling himself up, he noticed a duo on the roof of said building adorned with rifles. Taking them out swiftly was of up-most importance. Removing two shuriken from his pouch and waiting for them to walk further from the edge, he silently took them out. While there was a plop and a bit of tile that slid off the building, no one seemed alarmed.

Crouching along the rooftop, Weasel was luckily at his room's window. However, he had no way of safely entering through the window. There was no balcony to climb to, and the building used a lot of stone rather than wood. Looking around, he noticed there was a patrol alternating positions at the front and back of the store. There was a small gap where the front would be vulnerable, but usually the back remained guarded. Formulating a plan, the snow-haired rodent-master kept a keen eye on the bandits. A keen eye and a keen mind were essential to smoothly entering the store.

At the moment where he had his opening, Weasel used his chain to swing from the Ottsel Hole sign. Swinging in just the right way, he narrowly avoided any possible fields of view and landed right into the entrance. Quickly retrieving his chain, he darted for the upper level. Meeting face-to-face with one of the bandits, they both froze. Weasel acted first, which would've brought quite consequence had it been the other way around. Immediately he punched the bandit in the throat to give himself enough time to turn the man around and put him in a sleeper hold.

The couple rooms on the upper level were being ransacked, but he focused on his own. Seeing someone going through his journal, Weasel felt his cheeks tingle and redden. Sneaking up on the curious set of eyes, he gripped up the bandit and put him to sleep. Taking his journal and grabbing a bag to put all of his belongings in (including a quill and ink box set), he escape through the window. Waiting for the patrol to give him another window, he was able to hook onto the edge of the neighboring building's roof.

Finally, I'm in the clear. Weasel moved rooftop to rooftop until he was free from the surrounded area. Descending, he heard numerous sets of footsteps clapping along the cobblestone ground into the direction of the Ottsel Hole. Some moved back in the direction of the bar, which meant the dock area should be safe. Time for me to go.
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This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:25 am
Weasel was half-way to the docks before something brushed through his hair. Hearing a heavy clink ahead of him, he realize it was a rather rigid, sharp arrow. Looking behind him, a small group of grunts had begun tailing him. They must've tried to keep themselves silent, but now that they were known they could open fire more freely. "Agh! Don't you people have bedtimes? Dear lord!" Weasel had his monotone voice back, though he raised it just slightly so the grunts could hear him. Eventually, he emerged from the winding buildings into the dock area, sliding to a stop as he saw numerous employees of the dockmaster. "Oi! Laddy! Get yer arse over here!"

Weasel recognized the dockmaster and made his way past the line of employees handling rifles. "Oi, yer lucky I like ya lad! And, uh, I had a MASSIVE debt to yer dahd. So...let's say this is QUITE the payment. They came here, howlin' and cryin' over a lopped Goderich head. Issi true?" Weasel smiled with pride, moonlight giving a shine to his eyes. "Yes. It's absolutely true. Couldn't be happier. Though, "Weasel" definitely is a menace to this town. Oh, and that Alejandro kid...heard he died in a fire." And suddenly, a bright flash caught the dockmaster's eyes. "Ye mad man!" Weasel turned to see light shoot into the night sky. Flames whipped high up in the distance area.

"Yeah, I guess you have to be if you want to really become a pirate. Though, I'm a business man and I would rather not sully the Ottsel name." The dockmaster smiled, seeing the Goderich grunts try to fight the employees but easily being scared off. A few of their men were downed by the rifles, making them flee. Weasel was given a basic ship for him to start his travels on, nothing fancy. He gladly accepted...and it was finally the day the Ottsel Hole closed for good and the Ottsel family moved on from the town that plagued their business.

In order to rub his name off the records, Weasel had dug up remains of a child prior to the story. Which, of course, is a story on its own. He rigged his house to blow, and made sure to keep some records neatly fashioned so that they would be found in the ruins. With the remains planted and the house rigged, he was fully dedicated to leaving Loguetown. Thankfully, this was the only significant thing he did. Only the immediate area of Loguetown really knew him besides the general store he frequented. He was not a loud or aggressive business man, but he did what he needed to.

As Weasel sailed away from Loguetown, he looked into the beauty of the night East Blue with his bright blue eyes. His hair snapped in response to the ocean winds, and he stared out in wonder and curiosity. The Weasel chapter begins.
Gray
Gray
The Conqueror / Black Fist
[tracker=/t131-tracker-gray-starks#504]
Name : Gray
Epithet : "The Conqueror"; "Black Fist"
Age : 49
Height : 10'2" (310 cm)
Weight : 1043 lbs (473 kg)
Species : Cyborg Human
Faction : Pirate
World Position : Lurking Legend (Former Yonkou)
Crew : Black Fist Pirates (Destroyed)
Ship : Sangria's Vane (Destroyed)
Crew Role : Captain (Former)
Devil Fruit : Pressure-Pressure Fruit
Bounty : [ber=r] 5,000,000,000
EXP Bonus : +0.20 (to all allies)
Income Bonus : +0.20
Shop Discount : -30%
Balance : [bel] 25,000,000,000
[[strollingdeath]][[baneoftheweak]][[riseandshine]][[childofdestiny]][[freakofnature]]
[[punchoutguru]][[dulcetvirtuoso]]

[[improviseadaptovercome]]
Posts : 3883

Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!  Empty Re: Episode 1: The Rodent's Shop!

This post has in-line assessment comments.Mon Sep 18, 2017 1:16 pm

GRADING


COMMENTS

Very well done with your first solo quest, Weasel! Your combat session followed the guide perfectly, and your tracking of stats and math-work was much appreciated.

I also really loved your use of humour. And all the wisecracks Weasel made really brought his snarky attitude to life.

The only thing I think could use work is your pacing; more so your transitions from moment-to-moment narration to narration covering a long timespan. The transitions felt a bit abrupt at times and could be jarring. One way you could try to get around it is by putting physical dividers within your post when transitioning, like so...


REWARDS

Weasel
Difficulty Bonus: +0% (+0)
Quality Bonus: +25% (B)

EXP: 63 [50 + (25%*50)]
Berries: 2,343,750 berries [75k*25 + 0.25%(75k*25)] | {I decided to use your current level as the berry reward multiplier instead of your original level since the reward otherwise would not be appropriately fitting for you anymore.}
Bounty: No increase. | {Since Loguetown is mostly a lawless town at the moment and Weasel is fully adopting his alias to hide his origins, he gains no bounty from this quest.}


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